Bad Movie Night Outtakes (Rated: If you're easily offended, go away.)

| 1 Comment

At Restaurant:

Me: So, on the way over here, I was telling Todd that I figured out what it was I don't like about sewing. I like embroidery, but not sewing garb. It's the piecing together. It's my least favorite activity even on my Wee Dragons (TM).  He asked me if we needed to hire a small Mexican child to live in the closet and sew for me. "You wanna eat tonight? Sew! Sew!"

Todd: Well, you know, I figure he can live in the closet under the stairs.

J: No, if he does that then he'll become a wizard and that's a lot of trouble right there.

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C: They still haven't made the chocolate-peanut butter pizza!  I am giving them such a frowning!

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J: You should have heard my son on the way over here. He said that C was a cranky, old man.

C: Yes!

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At the house watching an episode of the horrendous 70's series "Quark":

J: That spaceship looks like a shark in a hot dog bun.

A: Or a pregnant guppy.

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Me: Dude! Those guys are wearing tights!  And, not the manly SCA kind of tights either!

B: Women's tights.

Me: Yeah!

K: You can see the Bettys' butt cheeks through their shorts and you're worried about these guys' tights?

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Me: Random half-dressed woman alert!

A: In the future, there is no underwear.

C: Thank God for that!

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A as he's removing the disc: Yeah, so you see why it was practically free and I was still robbed.

Me: A, I think I speak for everyone in this room when I say, dude, that was painful.  Thank you for showing us your love by inflicting that amount of pain on us.  Thank you.

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During Krull:

J: She totally has 80's roller skating hair going on!

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C: Go into the Butt Crack of Destiny!

A: I wasn't thinking butt crack.  I was thinking a little more yonder.

N: The Gash of Doom!

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Everyone: It's not a glaive!

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A: The Green Crack of Destiny!

C: Hey, she's a hippy. She's green!  Woo!

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K: So, he's offering ruling of the galaxy and lots of bling, so my question is, "Are you hot?"

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The only 10 year-old kid present: Qui-Gon Jinn is a good looking guy!

(Liam Neeson is indeed in this cinematic mess, and that statement broke the child's mother.  I gave him a high-five.)

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During the scene with the "Fire Mares":

K: What are they going to do, lasso them?

Me: Yes, they have lassos.

A: What are they going to do surf behind them?

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Me: So, why did the "glaive" have to hover there for ten minutes before it stabbed the Beast like a toothpick?

The 10 year-old: It had to collect it's awesome power!

Me: Fair enough.

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J: Just once I'd like to see a fantasy movie where the great evil power is destroyed and the castle doesn't collapse.

Me: Wouldn't that be great?  The heros could move in and rule on high!

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All: Oh my god!  They didn't list the script writer so we had someone to blame!

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I highly recommend a  Bad Movie Night of your very own.  It is totally a bonding of your politically incorrect powers.

_____________

A. is totally paying for that 30 minutes of "Quark".  It's on now.  I will find something so bad he will wither!

1 Comment

"Small Wonder." Just sayin'. But not "ALF." There were some decent moments in "ALF."

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This page contains a single entry by Papermasks published on February 23, 2009 1:27 AM.

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