Okay, Geeks, here's the thing, I've read tons of articles aimed at geek boys on how to date, learn to date, or just attract any attention at all.
I've noticed one singular flaw in the common logic of all of these experts, who are sadly, geek boys: you are trying to attract non-geek girls or only slightly geek girls.
Here's the thing, boys, if you want a girl who will agree with your lifestyle and maybe even participate, than you need to throw all of that advice out the window and be yourself.
Seriously.
I have seen non-geeks and geeks marry. It is usually very, very tragic. Especially with gamers. Ask Super Husband.
Contrary to popular belief, geek girls are a-plenty. Yes, we are still out-numbered by you geek guys, which makes competition stiff, but we are growing in number. Still, don't be afraid of the competition. I mean, hell, it means you should ramp the geek up a bit! Besides, our numbers are growing as we become more confident to reveal ourselves.
To those who say otherwise, I say, Fuck Off.
Look, I'm a die-hard, born and raised, geek girl. I was raised on Star Wars, Alfred Hitchcock, Twilight Zone, Atari, imported cartoons before they were called Anime, and fantasy novels. Okay, yeah, I denied myself in middle school and high school. I tried to be attracted the preps and jocks and other popular boys. I was never accepted because while I was in camouflage I was different. I was hurt many times. I swore off boys for Years. That is no exaggeration. I got tired of getting my geek girl heart stomped for the sake of my looks. (I looked GOOD but I didn't Put Out because I had respect in myself. That was not acceptable. Especially since I spent more time at the pinball machine in the bar than at the bar. Go fig.)
I started realizing the way the world wanted me to go was not The Way. The Geek Boys were my boys. Unfortunately, I found a different hurt. They wanted girls who were me but didn't look like me (I have always been curvy but not fat), or they wanted me but I didn't want them because they were so timid it was sad.
Look, dears, you need to make a choice: are looks more important or the acceptance and possible participation in your hobbies of choice? For the timid: seriously, nice guys are awesome with awesome sauce but if you're so shy you can't order a coke refill without flinching, then you come off as a child we have to raise. We want a guy who stands with us, not a guy who worships us and does our bidding. Trust me. We tease about the whole "doing our bidding" thing, but we want a man who will be our partners.
As a geek girl who has suffered at school and different traumas at the hands of abusive relatives, I wanted nothing more than a geek boy who would stand beside me and at least help me defend myself if not defend me. I had a geek boy who "loved me" who was not happy with my treatment but who would never stand up with me. He railed against my treatment to me behind closed doors but would never stand with me while it was happening. (Standing alone against abuse while the boy who "loves you" sits there and watches is very much not attractive.)
We tried to remain friends, but he never accepted that I needed to be with someone else...
Super Husband is a Geek with a capital G.
He's a nice guy.
He has stood with me against many a demon, many a trauma, many a threat of those relatives with new abuses. When I stumbled and couldn't quite stand myself, he stood as my protection while I picked myself up or he offered a hand and gave me some of his strength.
Sometimes, it's geek girls who have to offer this kind of assistance. I can understand that, and dammit, I encourage that. If the geek boy you love stumbles, then you better cushion his fall and help him up and let him know he's not alone!
But, geeks, seriously, you can't sit in the shadows wishing, and you can't keep letting internet, anime, magazines, wishful-thinking, or society, tell you what is perfect for you.
You are a geek.
Find yourself a geek.
It is a hard road, my friends, no doubt about that, but if you stay true to yourself and stand strong for those you love even if you can't always stand strong for yourself, I promise you will find that person who will make up the difference.
And, just so you know, we geek girls never believed geek boys were supposed to look like Denzel Washington, so why the hell do you suppose geek boys think we're all supposed to look like Lara Croft?
In this aspect, we geek girls are more accepting.
The point is: Look up. Focus. See what's in front of you. She will kick your ass at World of Warcraft, and you will fucking like it!
Ask. Her. Out.
____________________
Looks are important in your own personal universe. If a girl is a certain size and you prefer a different size from personal preference, more power to you. If a girl is a certain size and you only prefer another size because the rest of the world says you should, you need to grow the fuck up. Preference should be left to individuals. No one will crucify you for that. Hell, your geek pals will be jealous because you're having real sex with a real woman with real breasts! Imagine!
I've noticed one singular flaw in the common logic of all of these experts, who are sadly, geek boys: you are trying to attract non-geek girls or only slightly geek girls.
Here's the thing, boys, if you want a girl who will agree with your lifestyle and maybe even participate, than you need to throw all of that advice out the window and be yourself.
Seriously.
I have seen non-geeks and geeks marry. It is usually very, very tragic. Especially with gamers. Ask Super Husband.
Contrary to popular belief, geek girls are a-plenty. Yes, we are still out-numbered by you geek guys, which makes competition stiff, but we are growing in number. Still, don't be afraid of the competition. I mean, hell, it means you should ramp the geek up a bit! Besides, our numbers are growing as we become more confident to reveal ourselves.
To those who say otherwise, I say, Fuck Off.
Look, I'm a die-hard, born and raised, geek girl. I was raised on Star Wars, Alfred Hitchcock, Twilight Zone, Atari, imported cartoons before they were called Anime, and fantasy novels. Okay, yeah, I denied myself in middle school and high school. I tried to be attracted the preps and jocks and other popular boys. I was never accepted because while I was in camouflage I was different. I was hurt many times. I swore off boys for Years. That is no exaggeration. I got tired of getting my geek girl heart stomped for the sake of my looks. (I looked GOOD but I didn't Put Out because I had respect in myself. That was not acceptable. Especially since I spent more time at the pinball machine in the bar than at the bar. Go fig.)
I started realizing the way the world wanted me to go was not The Way. The Geek Boys were my boys. Unfortunately, I found a different hurt. They wanted girls who were me but didn't look like me (I have always been curvy but not fat), or they wanted me but I didn't want them because they were so timid it was sad.
Look, dears, you need to make a choice: are looks more important or the acceptance and possible participation in your hobbies of choice? For the timid: seriously, nice guys are awesome with awesome sauce but if you're so shy you can't order a coke refill without flinching, then you come off as a child we have to raise. We want a guy who stands with us, not a guy who worships us and does our bidding. Trust me. We tease about the whole "doing our bidding" thing, but we want a man who will be our partners.
As a geek girl who has suffered at school and different traumas at the hands of abusive relatives, I wanted nothing more than a geek boy who would stand beside me and at least help me defend myself if not defend me. I had a geek boy who "loved me" who was not happy with my treatment but who would never stand up with me. He railed against my treatment to me behind closed doors but would never stand with me while it was happening. (Standing alone against abuse while the boy who "loves you" sits there and watches is very much not attractive.)
We tried to remain friends, but he never accepted that I needed to be with someone else...
Super Husband is a Geek with a capital G.
He's a nice guy.
He has stood with me against many a demon, many a trauma, many a threat of those relatives with new abuses. When I stumbled and couldn't quite stand myself, he stood as my protection while I picked myself up or he offered a hand and gave me some of his strength.
Sometimes, it's geek girls who have to offer this kind of assistance. I can understand that, and dammit, I encourage that. If the geek boy you love stumbles, then you better cushion his fall and help him up and let him know he's not alone!
But, geeks, seriously, you can't sit in the shadows wishing, and you can't keep letting internet, anime, magazines, wishful-thinking, or society, tell you what is perfect for you.
You are a geek.
Find yourself a geek.
It is a hard road, my friends, no doubt about that, but if you stay true to yourself and stand strong for those you love even if you can't always stand strong for yourself, I promise you will find that person who will make up the difference.
And, just so you know, we geek girls never believed geek boys were supposed to look like Denzel Washington, so why the hell do you suppose geek boys think we're all supposed to look like Lara Croft?
In this aspect, we geek girls are more accepting.
The point is: Look up. Focus. See what's in front of you. She will kick your ass at World of Warcraft, and you will fucking like it!
Ask. Her. Out.
____________________
Looks are important in your own personal universe. If a girl is a certain size and you prefer a different size from personal preference, more power to you. If a girl is a certain size and you only prefer another size because the rest of the world says you should, you need to grow the fuck up. Preference should be left to individuals. No one will crucify you for that. Hell, your geek pals will be jealous because you're having real sex with a real woman with real breasts! Imagine!
Zoe's rule: women are people and wish to be treated as such.